Daily Jokes
Lady to inspector: My husband went to buy mutton 2 days ago,
And hasn’t returned back.
Inspector: Why don't u cook something else.
An absent-minded man
went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said,
'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?
' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?'
said the man
1st thief : Oh! The police is here.
Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for
superstitions.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop
or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference
by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Then there was a man who said,
"I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single
and be miserable,
or get married and
wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party,
one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
If you want your spouse to listen
And pay strict attention
to every word you say
talk in your sleep.
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom,
To understand a man, to Love
And to forgive him, and for patience,
For his moods. Because Lord,
If I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."